I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
