Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Even my vagina gasped.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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