I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
