So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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