Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
