Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
