I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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