She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
soo... how was my night?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
