Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
