halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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