I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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