just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
