I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
