just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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