i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
PANTIES FOUND
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