I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
