Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
