Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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