Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
