3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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