They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
