You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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