worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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