the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
