you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
