I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
