Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
