If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
