It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize