big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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