you traded sex for a burrito?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
