You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
