i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Everything about him screamed your future.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
