Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
