apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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