i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
