the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
