I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
