Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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