I just cut my nipple shaving
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
