you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
