And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
