It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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