We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
