just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
