I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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