you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
