Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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