Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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