Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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