He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
