Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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