Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
