I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
