Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
