Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize