I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
