Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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