i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
